Introduction - 5 Things Colleges Didn't Teach Us
Over the years, I’ve found myself increasingly disillusioned with our education system. What was once portrayed as a gateway to knowledge and personal growth now feels more like a profit-driven business than an institution designed to empower students and foster societal advancement. College promises us preparation for life’s challenges, yet so many of us leave feeling unprepared for what truly matters.
As I’ve navigated adulthood, I’ve come to realize just how much crucial information was left out of the curriculum—information that could have better equipped us to lead fulfilling, successful lives. From mastering time management to understanding financial literacy, colleges often overlook the very skills that define personal and professional growth.
In this article, I want to share the five critical things college didn’t teach us—lessons that I’ve learned the hard way and wish someone had taught me sooner. Whether you're a recent graduate or someone questioning the value of your education, this is for you. Let’s explore what should have been part of our education but wasn’t, and how we can take ownership of our learning to create a life of fulfillment.
Table of Contents
1. Relationships Are Vital
It’s often understated how important relationships are while in college and beyond. A staggering statistic reveals that most people find their long-term career through peers or acquaintances. Essentially, the more people you know, the higher the chance of finding a beneficial career opportunity. Yet, colleges frequently neglect to teach that relationships are one of your biggest assets.
While institutions of higher learning focus heavily academic knowledge and, depending on the field, technical skills, they often overlook the immense value of human connections in career and life success. A significant statistic reveals that 85% of jobs are filled through networking rather than traditional job applications. Funny enough, I learned this statistic from self-education. Despite being in organizations that heavily focused on the advancement of students’ careers after college, not a single administrator or professor emphasized or even slightly suggested this. Instead, I can recall numerous networking events and job fairs in which you’re encouraged to wander around and hand out resumes.
This underscores the power of networking—not merely the superficial exchange of business cards, but the cultivation of genuine relationships built on trust, shared interests, and mutual support. Essentially, the more people you know and the stronger those connections, the higher your chances of discovering valuable career opportunities, mentorships, and personal growth experiences.
Despite this reality, colleges often fail to teach students how to cultivate meaningful professional and personal relationships. While there are occasional networking events or alumni mixers, these are frequently treated as optional extracurricular activities rather than integral components of a student's education. Few, if any, courses emphasize the art of relationship-building, effective communication, or the long-term value of maintaining connections with peers, professors, and industry professionals.
Why Relationships Matter More Than Ever
The modern job market is increasingly competitive, and degrees alone are often insufficient to stand out. Employers seek candidates who not only possess skills but also come with recommendations and connections that attest to their character and capabilities. Strong relationships can open doors to internships, scholarships, and full-time roles that may not be publicly advertised. In fact, many opportunities circulate within trusted networks, making relationships not just helpful but vital.
Beyond the professional realm, relationships also play a key role in emotional well-being and personal development. College friendships often evolve into lifelong connections, support systems, and collaborative partnerships in various endeavors. However, fostering these relationships requires intentional effort—a skill that is rarely nurtured in an academic setting.
Years ago, a friend of mine lost his job during the COVID pandemic. He spent months sending application after application, hoping to get a call back from a company willing to hire him. He had a great degree in mechanical engineering and had a well-built resume. Despite this, finding a job was difficult. Eventually, my friend reached out and asked if I knew of any companies that potentially needed an mechanical engineer. I talked with friends of mine, also engineers and this led to them passing his resume to their managers.
Not before long, the managers asked my mechanical engineering friend to come in and they eventually awarded him with a job. This is the power of relationships. Had my friend relied on the often proposed method of submitting endless resumes, it may have taken him months or even years to get a new job. However, by knowing a decision maker within the company, he guaranteed success.
What Colleges Should Teach About Building Relationships
To address this gap, colleges could incorporate relationship-building into their curricula in meaningful ways, such as:
Teaching Networking Skills: Offering workshops or courses that teach students how to network authentically, both in-person and online, can help demystify the process and encourage participation. Research indicates that 79% of professionals consider networking vital to their career progression.
Mentorship Programs: Pairing students with alumni or industry professionals can provide guidance while modeling how to build and sustain professional relationships. A study from the University of Erlangen-Nuremberg found that networking behaviors are positively related to career success over time.
Digital Presence and Personal Branding: In today’s world, maintaining a professional online persona on platforms like Instagram or LinkedIn is critical. Colleges could provide resources on how to use these tools effectively to connect with others. However, I believe the skills taught can’t be one-dimensional. It needs to be a tailored approach based on what the individual student is striving for. When it comes to building a brand or standing out, generic advice won’t cut it.
The Value of Follow-Ups: Often, it’s the simple act of following up after a meeting or event that cements a connection. A course or seminar on maintaining relationships over time could have a lasting impact.
I’ve learned from personal experience that in both a professional and personal scenario, the act of simply reaching out numerous times is what separates winners from losers.
The Long-Term ROI of Building Relationships
When students graduate, they often focus on job applications, resumes, and technical skills. However, those who understand the value of relationships quickly realize that success isn’t just about what you know—it’s about who knows you and the reputation you’ve cultivated.
College is a unique environment where students are surrounded by like-minded individuals, all pursuing growth and opportunity. It’s the perfect time to practice relationship-building skills, yet most students graduate without realizing they’ve missed out on a powerful asset. By making relationship-building a cornerstone of education, colleges can empower students to harness this overlooked advantage, setting them up not just for a career but for a lifetime of opportunities.
2. Talk to Strangers
While the adage "don't talk to strangers" serves as a protective measure in childhood, its uncritical application into adulthood can hinder personal and professional growth. In college, students often form tight-knit groups, which, while providing comfort and support, may limit opportunities for broader networking. Expanding one's social circle during college is not just beneficial but essential for several reasons:
1. Enhancing Academic Success
Engaging with a diverse group of peers can lead to improved academic performance. A study published in the International Journal of Educational Technology in Higher Education found that social networking sites, when used appropriately, positively influence students' academic outcomes. The research indicates that spending up to approximately 89 minutes daily on these platforms is associated with better academic performance, as it facilitates academic discussions and resource sharing among students.
2. Building Professional Networks
Networking is a critical skill that colleges often overlook. According to the American Psychological Association, building a professional network can open many doors and possibilities for students. The sooner students start networking, the sooner they can gain additional knowledge and skills to help them do their job better or secure desired positions.
3. Fostering Personal Growth and Social Skills
Interacting with new individuals exposes students to diverse perspectives, enhancing their social skills and cultural competence. Research highlighted in the Journal of College Student Development emphasizes that participation in diverse social groups contributes to greater academic interactions and the development of a stronger sense of community and belonging.
4. Improving Mental Health and Well-being
Expanding one's social network can positively impact mental health. The American Psychological Association notes that stable, healthy friendships are crucial for well-being and longevity. Individuals with strong social connections are more satisfied with their lives and less likely to suffer from depression.
5. Preparing for Post-Graduate Life
The ability to connect with new people is invaluable in the professional world. A Wall Street Journal article discusses how networking has become increasingly important in job searches, with many employers favoring referrals over online applications. This trend underscores the necessity of building and maintaining professional relationships beyond college.
In conclusion, while forming a close group of friends in college is beneficial, it's equally important to continually seek new connections. Colleges should place greater emphasis on teaching students the value of networking and provide opportunities to develop these essential skills, preparing them for both personal and professional success.
3. Grades Are a Form of Memorization
In higher education, grades often reflect students' ability to memorize information rather than their depth of comprehension. This emphasis on rote learning leads many students to engage in last-minute cramming, memorizing facts for exams only to forget them shortly thereafter. Such practices can undermine the development of true understanding, which is crucial for applying knowledge effectively in real-world situations.
Research supports the notion that comprehension is more beneficial than mere memorization. A study published in the International Journal of Applied Research highlights that while memorization can aid in retaining information, it often fails to promote deeper understanding. The study suggests that students who rely solely on memorization may struggle to apply knowledge in practical contexts, indicating a gap between academic performance and real-world competence.
Moreover, a meta-analysis featured in Frontiers in Psychology examined reading comprehension levels among university students. The findings revealed that a significant proportion of students operate primarily at a literal comprehension level, focusing on surface-level understanding without engaging in inferential or critical thinking. This limitation can hinder their ability to apply learned concepts beyond academic settings.
The overemphasis on memorization in college curricula may stem from standardized testing and assessment methods that prioritize factual recall over analytical skills. This approach can inadvertently discourage students from developing critical thinking and problem-solving abilities, which are essential for success in professional environments.
To address this issue, educational institutions are encouraged to adopt teaching strategies that promote active learning and comprehension. Incorporating experiential learning opportunities, such as internships and community projects, can bridge the gap between theoretical knowledge and practical application. Research indicates that students learn best when actively involved in their education, suggesting that experiential learning can enhance comprehension and retention.
In summary, while memorization has its place in education, an overreliance on it can impede the development of true comprehension. Colleges should strive to create learning environments that prioritize understanding and application, equipping students with the skills necessary for real-world success.
4. Classroom Thinking Is Binary
In academic settings, tests and assignments often have binary outcomes: right or wrong. This black-and-white thinking can lead to mistakes in the real world, where problems often have multiple correct solutions. Adopting a mindset that embraces a spectrum of answers can lead to better decision-making and problem-solving skills. Understanding that not everything is binary can prevent you from feeling boxed in.
Research underscores the limitations of binary thinking. A study published in Psychological Science introduces the concept of the "binary bias," where individuals tend to oversimplify continuous information into two categories, leading to distorted interpretations and suboptimal decisions. This bias can hinder effective problem-solving by reducing complex issues to simplistic dichotomies.
In contrast, encouraging the exploration of multiple solutions has been shown to foster deeper understanding and adaptability. This approach not only enhances problem-solving skills but also promotes a more flexible and open-minded attitude toward learning.
Furthermore, educational strategies that expose students to various problem-solving methods can improve their ability to tackle complex, real-world challenges.
The Harvard Graduate School of Education highlights the importance of teaching multiple strategies in mathematics, emphasizing that understanding different approaches enables students to choose the most effective method for a given problem. This adaptability is crucial in diverse and unpredictable real-life situations.
By moving beyond binary thinking and embracing a spectrum of solutions, individuals can develop more nuanced perspectives and enhance their problem-solving capabilities. This shift is essential for navigating the complexities of the modern world, where challenges rarely have a single correct answer.
5. Time Is Your Most Valuable Asset
Time management is a critical skill that significantly influences personal and professional success. Despite its importance, many college curricula do not adequately address this area, leaving graduates unprepared for the demands of the workforce.
Research indicates a strong correlation between effective time management and academic achievement. A study published in the Journal of College Reading and Learning found that students who actively managed their time were more engaged and achieved higher academic success.
This underscores the necessity for educational institutions to integrate time management training into their programs.
Beyond academia, time management is essential in the professional realm. A meta-analysis concluded that time management practices positively affect job performance and well-being.
This suggests that individuals who master time management are more productive and experience greater job satisfaction.
To address this gap, colleges could implement workshops and courses focused on time management strategies. Techniques such as time blocking, which involves scheduling specific time slots for tasks, have been shown to enhance productivity.
Additionally, teaching students to prioritize tasks and set realistic goals can help them manage their workload more effectively.
Incorporating time management education into college curricula can equip students with the skills necessary to navigate both academic and professional challenges successfully. By doing so, educational institutions can better prepare graduates for the complexities of the modern workforce.
College may have given us degrees, but it left many gaps in preparing us for life’s complexities. The skills and lessons we truly need—like time management, financial literacy, and emotional resilience—aren’t part of most curriculums. While it’s easy to feel let down by the system, it’s also an opportunity to take charge of our own growth. By seeking knowledge and building these skills on our own, we can create a fulfilling life that no degree alone can guarantee. After all, education doesn’t stop at graduation—it’s a lifelong journey.
Leviticus Rich is the top productivity trainer in the DMV and DC Metro area within Northern VA.
Leviticus has helped thousands of people improve their time management, focus, and productivity by offering some of the best, science-backed advice and techniques in the modern era.
P.S. If you need help managing your productivity and destroying procrastination, click the link here to sign up for free productivity coaching. If you want more resources or guides on how to boost your finances, fitness, or lifestyle, click the link here.
Comments