Humans are inherently social animals.
Our lives are intricately woven into the fabric of the people around us.
The company we keep, the conversations we engage in, and the ideas we share play a pivotal role in shaping our beliefs, aspirations, and ultimately, our future.
And yet, many of us don’t choose our circle carefully. We allow anyone who can simply make us laugh or share a common belief into our lives and, by extension, into our heads.
As you read this article, consider this idea—the quality of your life is determined by the people you most commonly associate yourself with. If you believe your life isn’t going as you’d like, I believe it’s important to take a look at your circle carefully and audit the quality of the company around you.
The Science of Osmosis:
As humans, we possess a remarkable ability to learn through osmosis, absorbing knowledge, attitudes, and behaviors from our surroundings. This phenomenon is particularly evident in the social circles we inhabit. The ideas, values, and ambitions of the people we interact with seep into our subconscious, influencing our thoughts and actions.
I like to believe that you and the people around you share energy. You’re feeding each other. The energy is positive or negative. As a college student, I often hung out with people who were interested in partying and drinking.
At the time, this seemed like the ideal. My belief was that by not partying and drinking, I was living a boring life. And because this is the energy my friends and I fed each other, this is the energy we put out into the world. We attracted more people who desired to consume this same energy.
After years of auditing my life, I noticed that I wasn’t moving in a positive direction. I wanted more out of my life. However, I looked around to find no positive feedback. No encouragement. No like-minded individuals. This is because my diet and menu consisted of daily partying and drinking.
Often when trying to change our lives, we ponder how to change our lives…
How to find that high-quality circle…
How to think different thoughts…
I think the initial step is to audit the energy you’re putting out and fix that primarily.
The Determining Factor of Your Future:
The ideas your group discusses today could be the very seeds that determine your future. Surrounding yourself with individuals who inspire, challenge, and uplift you is akin to nurturing a garden of possibilities.
The conversations you engage in can plant the seeds of innovation, motivation, and success, transforming your aspirations into reality.
Give this a shot. The next time you’re out with your core group of friends, say absolutely nothing. Take note of the conversation. How it begins. Where it goes. How it ends. Are the ideas being discussed ideas that interest you?
I used to do this often. And I still do this. Personally, I enjoy talking about Eudaimonia—the good life. I enjoy thinking about health, money, and how to build relationships.
But more than that, I like talking about how to objectively turn the idea into reality. I enjoy discussing definitive plans.
I often notice that this is not the default of those around me. Many relationships I’ve had over the years and continue to have been built off of what I’d consider low-quality and low-energy thoughts.
Chasing women endlessly…
Gossip…
Hedonistic activities…
These concepts aren’t inherently bad, in my opinion. And they do have a place and a time. But I don’t enjoy talking about these things all of the time. I don’t find these concepts to lead to a productive or fulfilling life.
A Personal Anecdote: The Money-Minded Mentor
Years ago, I hired a business coach. My goal in life is to make an exceptional amount of money. Part of the reason is egotistical—I simply want to achieve something that most won’t and can’t. Another part of it is practical—I understand that raising a family and taking care of those around me requires money. And the more I have, the easier taking care of my family and community can be. Finally, there’s an objective part to my ambition—I have many goals that range from building skills in martial arts, knowing multiple languages, and investing in companies that have a positive impact on the planet all the way to being able to afford nice toys and trips. In order to do essentially all of those things in as little time as possible, money will be required.
I often recall the advice of my wise business coach. He emphasized the importance of surrounding oneself with people who talk about money, investments, and financial growth. According to my mentor, these discussions were not merely about wealth; they were about cultivating a mindset of abundance and financial intelligence. By immersing myself in an environment where money was a topic of serious conversation, I was unconsciously imbibing principles of financial acumen and entrepreneurial spirit.
The problem I found myself in was this: Almost no one I knew really talked about money.
I believe that once you have an idea of what you want in life you might need to change your environment to be around more people who act and think like you (or at least the ideal future version of yourself).
The Ripple Effect of Positive Influence
The impact of your circle extends far beyond the immediate conversations. It creates a ripple effect, shaping your decisions, beliefs, and aspirations in subtle yet profound ways. Positive, growth-oriented discussions foster a mindset of possibilities, encouraging you to dream bigger, work harder, and persist in the face of challenges. Conversely, a negative or stagnant environment can stifle creativity and limit your potential.
Curating Your Circle
Recognizing the significance of your circle, it becomes essential to curate it mindfully. Seek out individuals who inspire you, challenge your perspectives, and encourage your growth. Engage in conversations that stimulate your intellect, broaden your horizons, and fuel your ambitions. Whether it’s in person or through online communities, surround yourself with individuals who are passionate about the things you aspire to achieve.
Top 3 Strategies to Curate a Higher Quality Social Circle:
Intentional Networking:
Modern research in social psychology, as demonstrated in Nicholas A. Christakis' book, "Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives," shows that our connections significantly influence our behavior, attitudes, and even happiness. Actively seek out events, seminars, or online communities centered around your interests and goals. Attend these gatherings with the intention of meeting like-minded individuals who share your passion. Engage in meaningful conversations and be open to forming genuine connections.
2. Digital Communities and Social Media:
In the digital age, platforms like LinkedIn, Meetup, and specialized online forums have made finding and connecting with individuals who share your interests easier than ever. Research from the Pew Research Center indicates that nearly 72% of adults use social media, making it a powerful tool for networking. Join online groups related to your field or hobbies and actively participate in discussions. Engaging in conversations with professionals and enthusiasts online can lead to valuable connections and friendships. Personally, I recommend using Instagram as the primary tool to create long-lasting relationships.
3. Investing in Personal Growth
Consider enrolling in workshops, seminars, or courses related to your interests. Not only do these events provide opportunities to learn, but they also attract individuals who are actively seeking self-improvement and growth. Books like Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" emphasize the importance of genuine interest in others. Apply these principles in your interactions. Listen actively, show genuine curiosity, and be supportive. People are naturally drawn to those who make them feel valued and understood.
Conclusion:
In the grand tapestry of life, your circle forms a vital thread. It weaves through your aspirations, influences your decisions, and shapes your destiny. By understanding the power of osmosis in human learning and by actively engaging in conversations that fuel your passions and ambitions, you're not just a participant; you're a creator of your future.
So, let your circle be a source of inspiration, a reservoir of ideas, and a sanctuary of support. Let it be the force that propels you toward greatness, reminding you every day that the possibilities for your future are as limitless as the horizons of your dreams. By curating a higher-quality social circle with intention and purpose, you're not just shaping your life; you're shaping a legacy of inspiration and achievement.
P.S. I’m still on the hunt for more like-minded people who simply want to dominate life in every key area (Health, Wealth, and Relationships). And as I mention in this article, the key way to do it is to have conversations about what we seek.
If you’re interested, I created a group known as The Round Table. The idea of it is simple—talk about the things we want and actively help each other get them. If you’d like to join, it’s 100% free, just click the link here and sign up.